Retail Therapy: Align Your Soul with Your Business

Introduction to Retail Therapy

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my gosh. Welcome to Retail Therapy. Our first episode. This is a beta test where you’ll see six episodes where we’re giving therapy to retailers. And I’m so excited for this first kickoff because you’re going to get to meet our therapist, Ronda Renee, and I’m going to be in the hot seat and we’re going to give some therapy for me. To kick things off here. Okay.

So I’m really excited to share. And I have a feeling you being an entrepreneur, most likely listening to this, that you could probably resonate with the challenge that I’m experiencing. And so I hope it helps you too. And that’s been the whole goal of retail therapy is to be able to help retailers on a deeper level.

When it comes to their business and challenges that you might have, because there are so many things that we deal with as small business owners. And I wanted to go deeper in supporting you. And so that’s what we’re doing here. I didn’t want to do it alone. I wanted to have somebody who has more expertise and knowledge and experience in helping people through different transitions personally and professionally. And so that’s why I have Ronda here for these six beta tests. I have another therapist in the queue lined up to go next year. If you decide that you love retail therapy. So you got to let me know, leave a review on if you’re listening to Apple, leave a review there, email me, put it in our Facebook group. Let me know what you think of this, because I need to know if you want to keep. them come in and want them to keep going into 2025 and beyond.

Understanding Divine Coordinates

Crystal Vilkaitis: Now, real quick, during my therapy session with Ronda, we go into what’s called my divine coordinates. This is something that Ronda does with her clients to really help them understand more about themselves and their own divine coordinates.

And basically you’ve got a North, South, East, and West coordinates, just like you do on a compass right, in a map. And so we talk about mine a little bit. So you’ll get behind the scenes of what those are for me, obviously with our future retail therapy guests, they haven’t had their coordinates done.

So none of that pre work has been done. This is just like pure, straight up therapy. And we’ve already filmed, um, one of our retailers that therapy session, and we don’t have the coordinates in there. It’s so good. Oh my God. There’s gold in. Both of these episodes that we filmed so far, but I just wanted to give a shout out that you don’t need to know about the divine coordinates.

That’s something that’s special to me and what Ronda does. And if you’re super curious in them, then you should go check out Ronda and her work. If you want to go deeper and find out what your divine coordinates are. It’s fascinating. But here’s the deal. We talked about this in the episode, when we start talking about mine, some of the advice that Ronda has for me based on my coordinates.

This is such good advice for everybody listening. It’s not necessarily just specific to me. So keep an ear out for that because I’ve already listened to this twice and I keep getting more and more out of this session. I really needed it. So I hope it helps you as much as it helped me and let’s dive in.

Ronda.

Meet the Therapist: Ronda Renee

Crystal Vilkaitis: Welcome to Rooted in Retail. I am thrilled. You’re here.

This is a new segment on Rooted in Retail called Retail Therapy, where we give therapy to retailers.

And I invited my dear friend Ronda on the show because she is a business coach, a life coach. I have worked with her. I have friends that have worked with her. I’ve known you probably for about 15, 16 years.

Ronda Renee: Yeah, it’s been a minute.

Crystal Vilkaitis: It’s been a minute. And I was thinking, preparing for this and getting really excited about sitting down for these interviews.

And I was like, When I first met you, I was intimidated because I knew you knew things like she, you would pull things out of people. If you’re not, if you’re not ready for that, it’s Oh boy, that’s scary. But now it’s fun. Cause we get to work together and help retailers. The whole thing about this is.

Running a business can be tough. And honestly, over the years of working with retailers, a lot of the same things, we often have the same problems and same challenges, but how to overcome them or how to move through them can vary. As we’re going to learn on the show, we’re going to talk to some really amazing retailers to kick this off though.

I wanted you listeners to get to know Ronda because I know her, but you don’t know her yet. And so we’re going to learn a little bit more about her experience. And then I’m going to be in the hot seat first, and I’m going to get a little therapy myself because I feel like I can’t ask my retailers to do that without being willing to do it myself. So that’s what we’re going to do here.

So Ronda, before we dive in, share, how did you get into everything that you’re doing now? You have so much experience. You’ve worked with thousands of people really aligning their soul with their business, which I love that.

So tell us how you got here.

Ronda Renee: Ironically, my history. I am also Rooted in Retail as we were preparing for this. I’m like, how did I not see that connection at first? My first job outside of working for my dad as a teenager was I was the youngest assistant manager in dress barn history.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my goodness.

Ronda Renee: They made me an assistant manager at 15. Wow. Yes. So it was a big deal.

Crystal Vilkaitis: That is a big deal.

Ronda Renee: And so the whole company knew who I was and and I was with them for quite some time. And I worked for casual corner and I worked for the limited companies.

And then I worked for Nutrisystem, which you might not think of as retail, but it used to have locations. And we were basically a retail weight loss center. Then I shifted into construction materials, retail, and then as a manufacturer’s rep, where I was an award winning salesperson for decade plus.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Wow. Super Rooted in Retail.

Ronda Renee: Super Rooted in Retail. And how did I end up here?

Yes,

it makes no sense. So I would say it was just, it was a soul calling. It was a soul tapping. I was sitting in a seminar and going through some transformational processes with a facilitator. And as she was leaving the stage.

She said, Oh yeah, by the way, we’re training transformational trainers. And I just sat up super straight. It was like a lightning bolt went through my body. I was like, I think that’s me. And went to her in a room of 800 people. I was probably the second or third person to her. And I’m not somebody who’d goes to get autographs or anything like that. And I said, I don’t know what it is, but I think it’s me. And she’s like, okay well, you don’t understand. I think it’s me. Like I was really…

Crystal Vilkaitis: Like, no, I know this was my whole body saying yeah. So that started the process. And now incrementally I ended up getting to the place where I get to talk to souls all

day.

Oh my goodness. I love it so much. And how long ago was that?

Ronda Renee: That was what I math, my team jokes about me doing math in the front of the room because I suddenly don’t know how to do math in this space. That would have been 15 years ago. Okay. Ish.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah.

Ronda Renee: Yeah. Maybe a little bit more.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Awesome. And now you work with people in a lot of different ways.

I know you’ll do one to ones, you do group coaching, you do workshops, right? All sorts of different ways.

Ronda Renee: Yeah. There are lots of ways to engage with our work.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Okay. Okay. Awesome. And I got the opportunity to work with you because you have divine coordinates, which is really cool. And a side note for listeners we, I don’t know if we’ll get into this throughout these coaching sessions because it’s a process you go through with Ronda on really identifying your coordinates.

Will you please just share what that means? Yeah.

Ronda Renee: So the divine coordinates are. The specific frequency of your soul and more precisely, they’re the specific, unique energetic qualities that make up the frequency of your soul. So when you’re thinking about what do I align with, this is really important data to have.

I imagine your coordinates might come up when we have you in the hot seat. But it is a process. It’s part of our joint coordinates activation program where it is a three hour one on one session. That’s part of that program because it’s not just about identifying them. We had to teach you how to use it.

It’s really a technology. It’s really a spiritual technology to be able to navigate. Your life. That’s why it’s called divine navigation.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Exactly. Which I love. And that blew my mind. I love my coordinates so much that I feel like I’m like better. Almost. I feel competitive. Like I’ve got the best, not better, but I’ve got the best.

You’ve got the best ones. Because I love them so much. Cause they’re so me. But I did check in with you obviously. And I was like, people don’t have to have their coordinates. done in order to do this work. You’ve worked with people from a business perspective and personal perspective for many years on helping see that transformation.

So it’s not something required of any of our guests, but it is something very cool that you do.

Ronda Renee: It’s something very cool. That is the core of what I do. There are other ways to engage with us. We have, free events and workshops and other ways to play. Yeah. The real magic, of course. begins with the divine coordinates and there’s a lot of transformation and growth available, even in preparing for that.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah, very true. So true.

Ronda Renee’s Success Stories and Transformations

Crystal Vilkaitis: I love talking about success stories on the show. And so will you tell us a little bit about maybe a couple people? Who you helped, where were they, what was going on and how did you help them see some transformation or help them overcome that challenge?

Ronda Renee: Yeah. The first one that shows up for me is a gentleman. So this particular gentleman everything looked good. From the outside, he was doing okay. And by, by some perceptions, like he was doing really well, but he had a serious case of imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is something that we all experience at some point. It’s when the inside experience doesn’t match the outside experience really. So things look a certain way on the outside, but we’re not feeling. the way others perceive it and we can feel that. And so then we’ve got this imposter syndrome.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Totally.

Ronda Renee: The other thing about this gentleman is that the way he described it, he was always chasing significance.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh, that’s a big one. Yeah. Some of us can relate to that. Yeah.

Ronda Renee: Significance was a specific destination and it meant that he had arrived. It meant that he was finally on par with his peers and his colleagues, and like he was good enough to be one of them, even though all these other things, indicated that he was right. But if you have something, but you don’t have it, then you’re still in that, seeking, you’re still in that wanting, you’re still in that lack experience. And those are the kinds of things that we can shift very quickly and change your whole experience of your business.

Even if nothing in your business changes or your life but things change. So with this particular gentleman, within two or three months, his KPIs across the board were up. I didn’t work on any of that.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah.

Ronda Renee: This wasn’t about working with him on the nuts and bolts of his business, but all these eight KPIs were rising. Rising tide floats, all boats.

They were all going up. I’m getting chills all over. The parts that I love the most are when people were asking him like, what have you been doing?

Because he was showing up so differently. Yeah. And he really feels like now the way he described it, he said, I’m calmer than I have been in, I don’t know how long.

And he stopped chasing the significance. Like he’s really enjoying the journey itself, which sounds cliche, but cliches are cliche because they’re true, right? So now he has access to that, right? He’s not trying to get somewhere. He’s being somewhere and doing the things that he’s inspired to do. And it’s having this impact across the board.

And we can probably relate to the fact that life in terms of our personal life and our professional life. How much they can impact one another. Yes. It’s, we’re the same person, right? So if we’re having a rough experience in one place, it’s going to impact the other place. Yep. We can’t silo.

We do. We try to compartmentalize, but it’s not effective and it doesn’t work for very long.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah.

Ronda Renee: One of the beautiful side effects in a very complex family dynamic, he said that he has had a better, he described it as a new found relationship, like with his family, his extended family, his mini families, extended family.

There’s a blended family situation. And again, that was not the reason that we started our work together. He really wanted to step into his leadership. That was the reason that he decided to work with me directly. And all these other things came out.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Did he know before meeting you, I know I’m struggling with imposter syndrome or was that something that you had to help him see?

Ronda Renee: I think he probably had an idea, but he actually saw me speak on stage with a framework that I think I’ve shared with you that really goes into what are our universal shadows and fears and something I call the personality polls.

What are those commonalities? And really it shows you if you’re hiding, it shows you what’s the shadow and the fear that’s behind that. And then therefore, how are you behaving? And if you are in the imposter syndrome space, right? What’s the shadow and the fear that’s there and how are you behaving?

And if you’re in the place where I either, I don’t know what to do, so I do nothing, or I’m doing an all sorts of different directions at the same time. That’s actually sourced from the same place, it’s just two different expressions.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Interesting.

Ronda Renee: So there’s a whole framework, a little bit more to it, I won’t go into all of it.

But he said to me when he came up to me afterwards, he said, how are you in my head?

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah, you do that.

It’s weird. You do that really well.

Ronda Renee: I’m like, I’m not in your head. I’m in your soul. Yeah.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh,

Ronda Renee: but I’m not in there without permission.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my goodness. I love that.

So he’s working through that.

Then you’re working together to see that transformation for him to determine that you are striving for significance. And that I bet a lot of our listeners can relate to. I feel like even just hearing you walk through some of these pieces, it’s Oh, huh.

Huh. Because we’re human. And I just feel like there’s this makeup of a business owner and of an entrepreneur and of certain like expectations we have on ourselves. And I think that sometimes we don’t realize. how high that bar is set or even like taking the moment to appreciate and celebrate what we have done.

Yes.

And it sounds like maybe he had a little bit of that happening that had to get really clear on what mattered. I’m sure.

Ronda Renee: Yes, that, that is really key. And I find it interesting side note, given your South coordinate.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh,

Ronda Renee: okay. And your definition of it. Do you remember your definition? I know I’m terrible with my definitions.

I think it’s rooted in meaning. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. And then you just brought up meaning. Yes. . How funny. Yes. And that is that is another one that he mentioned is now I’m like, prioritizing is completely different because it’s all meaningful. , he’s not trying to keep up with anybody else.

He’s not using external litmus tests. Yeah. What we call external referencing, which is where the outside circumstances we let. denote our internal experience. We want that to go the other way, right? The internal sourcing of the experience. Then the outside is the evidence of that, if you will, gets to be the byproduct.

And so he’s really been able to shift. That part, which means that he’s having a lot more fun in his business. This is his work. Yes. There’s going to be effort. There’s going to be work. There’s going to be late nights. There’s going to be things that we don’t all want to do. But as a business owner, the trash needs to be emptied.

You empty the trash, right? Yep. It’s just the way that it goes. And when there’s a bigger meaning behind it, then it’s more enjoyable. Even when you’re doing something that you would not prefer to do right?

Crystal Vilkaitis: Exactly. Oh, that’s very cool. Yeah.

Awesome. Okay. Do you have another story? I love your story Oh, yeah, I know.

I told yeah, I totally am a success story

Ronda Renee: I don’t want to share your story

Crystal Vilkaitis: I mean I was so It was almost like this unlocking once I got my coordinates and I start understanding myself better and doing that work. And honestly, I didn’t do like nearly the work that, that you give us and the resources you give us. I got really caught up and I’m air.

I move really fast and I move into other things and got crazy, but I didn’t have, I felt a little lost before. I didn’t have a lot of clarity. Kind of Stuck. And then I moved into this place of I really see where I want to go. I had a lot more motivation. I started saying yes. It was like opportunities just kept coming in for speaking opportunities.

My business had the best year we crossed the million dollar mark in our history. And I think that was 10 year and a million dollars. And I won 40 under 40. It was just all of this momentum that happened in 60 days of just really understanding myself more through your work and and questions that you like think thoughts that you would give me, you know what I mean?

Are good questions to ask myself that I would then journal about. And yeah, so that’s a good one.

Ronda Renee: Yeah. It’s a great, I mean, it’s a fantastic, it’s a fantastic story. And as I was saying earlier, people probably couldn’t see on the outside that you felt a little lost, like it didn’t show, right?

Because you were showing up and you were doing the thing, but if we don’t get the internal satisfaction and fulfillment why would we keep doing it? Exactly, right? And you use the word motivation and there’s a really interesting distinction I like to make.

The difference between motivation and inspiration.

Okay? Okay, so motivation Tends to be externally driven like we try to motivate people. We try to get people to do things. And so at that point, if you were trying to motivate yourself to do something that you didn’t really want to do, or weren’t really sure that was the direction, that’s more motivation. It’s when our, when we’re more forcing ourselves, we’re trying to have manufacture that juice.

But when we’re aligned, inspiration comes in and that’s an internal welling up of an idea, right? Of an opening with curiosity of how else could I do this or what else might there be? And I remember the picture of you with the, all the tags on it.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah. And that just that one year, I had a whole line on my arm extended out of all these lanyards of everywhere I spoke in one year.

Ronda Renee: And I didn’t most of them happen like at the end of that year?

Crystal Vilkaitis: It was it was either the end or they got booked for the following.

Like it was just a whole bunch of opportunity.

Ronda Renee: That’s right. It wouldn’t have been the end because you got your coordinates in November. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Good memory. I love that though for the motivation versus inspiration because it’s so So makes me think about this show. Actually, I love doing this show.

And when I sit down and I’m committing to it and I’m, I think about it all the time. I’ll be on my walk. I’m preparing for guests. I’m thinking about guests. Then retail therapy came out and I was like, this would be so fun. I have so many other ideas for this show that it just feels like that’s all inspiration.

Yeah. Like I’m tapped in. It turned on like I, I see what’s happening here and inspiration’s way more fun to work with than that. Motivate. Like I got to motivate. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t like the motivation.

No, it’s like having the wind at your back in a really gentle way instead of this,

Crystal Vilkaitis: pulling myself out to, to do this.

Yeah. Okay.

Alignment and Misalignment Between Business and Soul

Crystal Vilkaitis: So before we get into some therapy here, for those who are listening, who might be new to the concept of aligning their business with their soul. What are some signs that they’re out of alignment? What can they do to get back on track?

Ronda Renee: Oh, there’s so many. In fact, on on our website on divine navigation, there is a, an article of 21 signs of alignment.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh, okay.

Ronda Renee: Okay. So this, we’re just come at this from the out of alignment, but if check it out, if you want to know what the alignments are. One of the first ones is low or high level anxiety. All right.

Okay.

If you’re feeling anxiety, then you are more in the personality. And you’re probably projecting into the future, which is also a sign that you’re out of alignment.

Okay.

Because when we project into the future, how often are we seeing the good news that’s coming in the future?

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah.

Ronda Renee: Not very often.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah. Our brain is but that is going to happen. This is going to happen. What if that happens?

Ronda Renee: Yeah. And that, that’s the brain’s job, right? Is to keep us safe and project those scenarios so we can prepare and control. That’s all an illusion.

Alignment doesn’t have to be this really big thing. It starts small. It starts really small. It starts by making sure that you’re actually in your body, that you’re not just trapped in your head, or you’re not in the other room wondering what those people are talking about.

Or if someone’s walking into your store, you’ve actually just left yourself and gone to them. Are they going to buy something? What are they here for? Have they been here before? You’ve left yourself. And that is a misalignment.

The Illusion of Control

Ronda Renee: So paying attention to how often you’re not in your own energetic space and coming into the moment, which you can’t do unless you’re in your body and being able to then sense and detach because attachment is another form, potentially that you’re out of alignment.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Okay.

Ronda Renee: Because alignment is a little bit like a moving target.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah.

Ronda Renee: Cause we’re always moving out of it and coming back into it. It’s like a plane. They say the pilots when they’re flying, they’re putting the plane back on course. That’s mostly their job,

Crystal Vilkaitis: right?

Letting Go of Attachment

Ronda Renee: So when we are getting looped into, it’s got to look like this and attached to a specific destination, like success only looks like this.

And then we get really hooked into that.

Then we can’t be open to realignments. Because your personality wants to control and know exactly what this is going to end up like. And in my experience, if we know exactly what it’s going to look like, we’re probably the ones limiting it.

Crystal Vilkaitis: So absolutely

Ronda Renee: the limited awareness of our conscious mind can only come up with pictures that it’s already seen.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yes. Yes, and that’s where I love. I think I even just posted something on Instagram last night about allowing the universe to work its magic because it will provide things that you cannot imagine.

Ronda Renee: Precisely, precisely, precisely. So when you’re attached, you end up being contracted. In your energetic field and instead if you can just relax and open up and then, Oh, there’s a solution right here. But because your field of vision was closed because you’re super hyper focused, I like to say if you’re overly focused on one destination, you might miss out on your destiny.

What if it’s right there?

Crystal Vilkaitis: It’s so true. Oh my goodness. That’s so true. I feel like even just what you were saying I was like, this is a good journal prompt of When has there been a time that I’ve been really focused on the outcome , and what is that outcome? And what if I let go of that outcome?

Like just allowing yourself to let go and explore what might come of that. And if there’s a lot of fear of letting go, cause of the control aspect, I think journaling or meditating or understanding where some of that is coming from. So you can allow yourself to let go.

Crystal’s Personal Experiences of Misalignment

Crystal Vilkaitis: So you can get into alignment because man, when you’re not in alignment. It sucks. It’s painful. It’s painful. And you can feel, I have felt trapped. I have felt like I even have said to Dustin, I feel like I am going to get on an airplane, fly away, not tell anyone where I’m going. And I don’t know when I’ll be back. And he was like, do whatever you got to do. So he’s a good partner.

Thank you, honey. But yeah, I don’t want to feel like that. That’s terrible. And that was a big of misalignment. And I’m somebody Over the years have gotten so caught up in what I should be doing and measuring my success to everybody else’s success and joining groups that, but you need to delegate as much as everything off of your list.

You should have a ton of free times. Cause you’re the business owner. And so I’m like, okay, I’ll go do that. Cause they say that. And then this person over here is you need to be launching courses. And this is the way to launch courses. I’m like, okay, I’ll go do that. And I’m really good at getting stuff done, but that’s like the So that’s not necessarily what I want to do and feel in alignment with,

Ronda Renee: Or what you’re meant to do.

Finding Your Unique Path in Business

Ronda Renee: And so, you know, our business in your soul program is really designed with that in mind, right? Every one of our business owners, their business looks different than any of the other ones because they’re unique to them. Like people over model, frankly. There’s some validity and looking and seeing what’s working, but if it’s out of alignment for you, it’s not going to work for you anyway.

Yeah. Yeah.

And in certain industries, literally up to 98 percent of what’s taught doesn’t work for 98 percent of people. And then the business owner ends up feeling like they’re the one that’s broken and there’s something wrong with them when it’s not the case. It’s not what their soul wants for them.

It’s not what’s in alignment for them and you can’t miss out on what’s meant for you when you do? What you are called to do when you do it your way?

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yes, and I feel like that’s when the magic happens like the innovation the creativity I think of our retailers listening and if you are thinking of The business down the street and what she’s doing or what big box is offering.

And we can, we just compare and we’re looking out and I understand there’s elements of research, and being aware, but I think that there’s some magic that happens when we don’t look out and we get really internal and just decide to do whatever we want to do and do it our way. Yes. So we are in alignment.

Ronda Renee: Yeah, absolutely.

The Importance of Authenticity

Ronda Renee: And, looking outside, comparing that’s another sure indication of misalignment because when you’re really in your thing, you’re not paying attention to other people the same way.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh, that’s such a good, that, I can’t wait to relisten to this episode because I’ve been sitting here being like, I want to go deeper on that.

I want to go deeper. It’s triggering so many things for me. This morning I’m on my walk and I’m like, Oh, I wonder what somebody is doing with a podcast. I’m like, I don’t know. You really don’t wonder. I like, I, it was almost like I, it’s a habit for me to look out at what everybody else does, but then I was like, I actually don’t really care what anybody else is doing.

I really like what I’m doing and I don’t want any influence. In what I’m doing, and that just happened this morning. So I’m in alignment.

Ronda Renee: You’re are in alignment. Perfectly in alignment and we’re trained to do that right societally. We are trained to do just that to look and see what everybody else is doing because someone else knows better than us how to do it and it’s not that you don’t pay attention because it makes sense to be aware but not identify with it, right?

And so instead, like taking the information, but don’t reference yourself to it. That’s why we call it externally referencing. When you’re looking outside and you are now orienting yourself around that external, then you’re shortchanging yourself. Instead, taking the information and then go inside and feel for the alignment.

Is that right for me? Is there something there for me? What other idea does it spark for me? Not necessarily, oh, I gotta do it that way because they’re doing it that way. Again, if you get into that anxiety, you’re out of alignment. You’re not in your body and you’re not in the moment. In your external referencing, I can almost a hundred percent guarantee it.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my goodness. I love it. I feel like we need a button, like a Ronda button. That’s like, are you in your body? Are you in alignment? Get back in your body, get back in. And I’m sure that’ll come up a lot on this show too, for the people that we’re talking to.

Ronda Renee: We should probably say I’m not actually a therapist.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my gosh. Yes. And actually I might even add in an intro because I have a note of that. Disclaimer. Yes. Ronda is not a certified therapist.

Ronda Renee: I’m just playing one on TV.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yes, exactly. She has a lot of experience from business coaching and life coaching and has worked one on one with so many people and very qualified to do this role on this show, but is not a certified therapist.

So if you are struggling with anything, please consult your doctor or somebody in the medical field that can help you. Is right for you. I’ll figure out that disclaimer perfectly. This is our first one, but yes, that is true. Okay. Thank you for saying that. Yes. Very important. Okay. Okay.

Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt

Crystal Vilkaitis: So as I was preparing for this, one thing that comes up for me over and over, and I think that I’ve struggled with for many years and that I was thinking this morning, like, when did I really realize it and it was in 2018 I was watching this documentary by Rachel Hollis and she was talking about this conference that she was putting on and it was just a documentary of her business. And at one point I sit up in bed and I’m like hysterically crying. Like I just can’t even, I’m like audibly, ugly crying, watching a documentary about a girl who’s putting on a conference.

And then I’m like watching whatever. And then at the end of it, I just, start crying. It was just like this massive release. So obviously there’s something there.

Ronda Renee: Obviously there’s something there.

Tears aren’t a bad thing for anyone who is, right? Like tears are really an indicator that there’s energy there.

So I think this is a great thing to include for anyone who gets concerned about when emotions come up or they’re resistant to emotions, because especially for women when our nervous system just is like running so much juice, have you ever gotten angry and you’ve cried and you’re mad that you cried, right?

It’s just your nervous system is at capacity. And so these moments, that’s when I referred to my soul tapping. It’s a similar type of thing, just presenting a different way. That’s a directional indicator. . It’s go that way.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yeah. Okay. And you did. That so shows up for me in that way.

It’s so funny with those tears. So I remember getting out a piece of paper and all I could write is just, I made, it’s funny cause I think this documentary is called made for more or something. So I’m like, I am made for more. I’m playing a small game. Like I just, I know I’m playing a small game and I have this urge, this desire to just do more and do bigger things.

And I was in a rut and it took me years. I did finally launch my own conference, and we happen to be pretty darn good at it. And I love doing it. It’s awesome. But there’s still even today I have these bigger companies I’d like to partner with. I see myself having a much bigger show doing the show on the road, like really going all in.

I want to be able to release the page that you can buy conference tickets. It’s now open. And man, people are lining up to get the tickets because they know about us. I want to serve and help tens of thousands of retailers versus hundreds. And I’m grateful for who we work with today.

I just feel like I’m made for more and I want to talk to more people and get out there and I will do things that you mentioned earlier in this sit down here of either you do nothing or you do like a bunch of stuff.

And I just feel like I’m someone, I do a bunch of stuff and that’s how I’ve been lately.

I feel like I’m doing a million things, but it’s not really getting me where I want to go. and I put myself out there with a couple of big companies, which is a big step for me, but then I often will not do the follow through or I won’t really sell myself or I’ll be like, no, maybe not go back to where it’s comfortable.

Yeah. So I would love help on breaking out of this holding myself back kind of place.

Ronda Renee: So the first thing that actually shows up for me is that the piece under it. So you’re saying it’s holding yourself back, but what’s the root, pardon the pun, what’s the root of holding yourself back?

Crystal Vilkaitis: I think part of it, I don’t know if this is it, but there’s a lot of fear that I’ll fail.

Like it won’t work. Yeah.

Ronda Renee: So what would it look like to fail?

Crystal Vilkaitis: I’ll just say this. It’s not like it’s secret. I would love for American Express. I want to partner with them and be a bigger part of this show. So it would allow me to produce better content and go on the road and have a bigger show.

So failure would be like either they don’t say yes to me and then I’m like trying to get sponsors and I can’t get anybody. So it’s almost like, am I not worth it? Am I not doing good enough things here? Or if we do partner, am I going to meet their level of standard because it’s a corporation? It’s way bigger now. So those would be the roots.

Ronda Renee: So two things I heard in that. So one, the fear of I can’t do enough. It’s actually the shadow of, I can’t do enough. And the fear is I’m not going to make it right. So that would be in, in coordinates, that would be South shadow and fear, right?

And so then you’re more likely to end up trying to push things forward when you’re coming from that place. Instead of, if you drop into alignment, what idea might come to you, right?

Because you’re already out there you’re playing with the, are they gonna, are they not? And none of what you’re doing is going to impact that at that level.

So the other thing in there is a lot of attachment.

Its like validation, if American Express says yes, then I’m validated in what I’m doing and that’s external referencing. So you know, the nuts and the bolts are one thing, but your personal internal experience with whatever you’re doing, it’s the energy that you’re coming to the action with that does most of the creating.

So when you’re sending an email to American Express. Are you in the, oh gosh, are they gonna, are they gonna? Or are you in the openness of, wow, what’s it gonna be like when? But without attachment.

Crystal Vilkaitis: That’s good. No, you know what I’m like? Cause this happened yesterday. I haven’t emailed anyone yet, but I’m like, I’m gonna connect with them on LinkedIn.

So then I connect and then I’m like, Oh shit, what’s on my LinkedIn profile. And so then I’m over there. And then I spent two hours updating my LinkedIn profile and hitting save like 18 times, cause you want it to be perfect what American express is going to think, and so there was a lot of that happened for me. And that energy is sort of that freak out. There’s a control. I definitely like having control, the doing things without being attached to the outcome. That’s a tough one.

Ronda Renee: If it’s coming from inspiration, then it’s easier, right? Because I have to bring in your coordinates, like I can’t not. So connected is your self coordinate rooted in meaning.

What’s the meaning behind it? If you just stay connected to the purpose in it. And the service that it’ll bring to your retailers by having this bigger partnership. Look like your energy chain, like you can just feel, did you just feel crystal’s heart open? Like that, that, because then no matter what happens, you had that experience of your love and care for the people that you serve.

Why are we doing any of this if we’re not connected to that?

Crystal Vilkaitis: It’s so true. And looking through it, through that lens of the things that I can do and how I can show up versus are they going to say yes or no to me? Yeah. And it’s so different.

Ronda Renee: And it’s so insidious because you said the things I can do and the way I can show up almost as if I need to still do it a certain way in order for it to work.

But authentic expression is your North coordinate. And that I believe the definition was the voice of truth. And your job, your only job is that, right?

It’s to be rooted in the meaning so that you can be the voice of truth.

And whoever that voice speaks to, those are your people who it doesn’t speak to it doesn’t matter.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh, yup.

Ronda Renee: Why do they matter?

The other thing. It is not something you specifically said, but again, because I know your divine coordinates. So I’m going to speak in a way hopefully that everybody can follow and not be too nomenclature ish and kind of lingo.

The Role of Imagination and Potential

Ronda Renee: So your West coordinate is self actualization and your East is imagination. For almost everybody on the planet the East is the go to. So that’s the direction, the center of being of the mind. And so it’s really strong. You said like your mind is really strong. Yes. And imagination is your frenemy.

Because it can be a bully. It can be, it can lead you to these great visions, but it can also get you really trapped in some things. And then runaway train of that imagination that isn’t in a direction that’s not necessarily serving you. What’s most common, this is one of the most common dysfunctions inside the technology of the divine coordinates, is that you’re using your east to try to get to your west.

The west is where it all starts. The west is the gateway to the soul.

The key is that you are trying to use the East to get to the West awakening potential is your definition of self actualization, but you’re trying to use creating from curiosity in the East in imagination to get to self-actualization.

You cannot go from the mind to the heart. It is a one way road. Okay? It is not a two way street . . So you need that awakening of your own potential in order to know how and where to use your imagination. What is it that wants to be created from that curiosity that will root you in the meaning in the south?

And then. Into the voice of truth so that’s so specific to you in coordinates and obviously with our other guests, we’re not going to have that information. I still will have, I would have plenty to say without that, but because I know this about you, can’t let it go. Can’t let it pass.

Crystal Vilkaitis: No kidding. Exactly. Can’t let it pass.

I’m glad that you didn’t let it pass because this is really good information for me. And I feel like some, obviously that is very much for me, but some of that could ring true for other people, like where we’re starting, so much is through our mind and our thoughts versus tapping into our heart and what we desire, like our soul desires and where that really lights us up.

And that’s probably what you mean by getting into your body and yeah, focusing there.

Ronda Renee: Yeah. The focus I pull people a little further down into their body, more like in the core so that then the heart has something really stable to rest on.

Cause in a lot of ways we actually receive here in our core and give from our heart.

And in order for the heart to feel safe to open, we have to be really grounded in our individuation. Yeah. And this is where individuation lives. Her individuation isn’t actually in the heart. That’s just the way that we get to share our individuation happens heart and throat, right?

Like in the feeling and in the speaking, but you have to really solid foundation in who you are in order for that to be most effective. It doesn’t mean obviously look at the whole world. Most people don’t have this and yet they get things done. But can you imagine the types of things we’d accomplish if we came from this space?

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my goodness. It would be a different world completely. I think it would be incredible and way more joy.

Ronda Renee: Way more joy. Way more joy. Yeah. And there’s a couple other questions that are coming up that I invite you to play with. Okay. Is like, why is this important anyway? Whatever result it is.

Ask yourself first, why is this important? What would it mean about me when this happens?

Because then you start to see the unconscious ways that we feel like we’re not enough.

Once I get this, I’ll be enough. Or, I’ll know enough, or I’ll be lovable enough, or I’ll have enough influence, or I’ll have done enough.

Or it’ll be safe enough. It’s all the part of the overall universal shadow of, I’m not enough, it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough. And that not enoughness plagues the entire world. So we’re always striving. We never get to be fulfilled with where we are. We never get to fully appreciate all that we’ve accomplished.

And the, and even the people in our lives and the things that surround us every day that we inadvertently take for granted from our lack of enoughness.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Oh my goodness. That’s so true. Okay. That’s really good. I can’t wait to do that. I’m going to listen to this probably tonight and be like journaling.

Ronda Renee: Partner question to that one.

Okay. Okay. What does it mean about me or what does it say about me? If it doesn’t happen.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yes. Okay.

Ronda Renee: That one’s going to be good because I just felt how that landed.

Crystal Vilkaitis: I felt that too.

Ronda Renee: Yeah. Like the the unconscious stories we make up again, it’s all this, I’m good enough or I’m not good enough.

And the weird litmus tests that we put in place that we don’t even realize is say, I’m valuable if, and I’m not valuable if.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yep. Okay. I will do that work. And anyone listening, I have a very good feeling. Somebody else is going to do this work with me and needs to do the work. And now’s a good time to do it.

This I felt like physically could feel my body changing in looking at it very differently and having these questions to really help me get more clarity on why and I feel like I’m having a hard time with words because I feel really clear on what I need to do. Like it feels almost I just feel like really ready.

Ronda Renee: So that’d be inspiration.

Crystal Vilkaitis: I have the inspiration.

Ronda Renee: Because you’re feeling the bubbling up of Oh yeah, that, yep. And so it’s not that there’s nothing to do. There’s action to take, but not for the sake of doing.

Crystal Vilkaitis: Yes. Yeah. And I don’t have to motivate myself to get out there and do these things. I feel very inspired.

And I I got to just keep in mind heart first and think about what I can do with my retailers and with the platform. I’m using my imagination, but it’s using this play.

Ronda Renee: But you’re starting from the awakening of the potential, yours and the retailers. Yep. And the, and what happens when you come together, the awakening of that potential, but it’s more rooted in the love of it. . Versus the achievement, the acquisition, the accomplishment. Which even when we get them, they end up feeling hollow. If we don’t have that open-hearted, fulfilled, connected experience. Yep. On the way. And if we don’t have it on the way, we don’t have it afterwards.

Yeah. Oh, that’s interesting. And so true. And makes me think of some of the guests that we have coming up too. How this is going to be juicy. Yes,

there’s some good guests lined up. Oh my goodness,

Crystal Vilkaitis: Ronda. This is really good.

Upcoming Guests and Future Topics

Crystal Vilkaitis: I think that’s a really good transition for me to just talk about what’s to come here with our guests.

Ronda Renee: Let’s do it.

Crystal Vilkaitis: I mean we’ve got a guest that we’re going to be talking about who’s growing her store and adding more people. And so that means you’ve got to be a better leader and there’s fear around what kind of leader.

We’ve got somebody who went from addict, homeless to turning his life completely around, buying a store, building this business, having a family, like a amazing transformation story. Who’s now asking. Now what?

We have a retailer who, man, sales are tough and she’s trying everything. And it’s oh man, it’s tough. It’s emotional.

And then we have a retailer who works in a family business and is balancing being a mom. And working with family and some of those challenges and dynamics that come with that.

And more, like this is going to be a really good beta test here. And so what both Ronda and I want is your feedback. I want to hear from you. Are you finding value out of these episodes? And was there any questions? Was there something that you wish you had more of that we discussed or to go deeper in or any of the feedback, if you’re loving it, Tell us like we want to know and that way it gives me information to know if we should keep giving therapy to retailers.

Cause I have a feeling that we could help a lot of retailers. That’s for sure. So Ronda, we did our first one. so much for being here and we’ll be on the next one. Looking forward to it. Everyone remember that I’m rooting for your success. Have a great week and day ahead. Bye.

Thank you so much for being here. It means the world to me. Don’t forget to join the rise and shine newsletter, which is social media news. You need to know sent via email every Monday morning, go to crystal media, co. com slash rise to join and don’t miss the newest episode of Rooted in Retail, which drops every Sunday morning.

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